Adult Diapers On My Mind (& My Baby Registry)

Do you want to add Depends Incontinence Underwear for Women to your baby registry? *clicks Add*

“You know people will be able to see them, right?” my husband asked.

“Yes, I think they can handle it,” I said, ever so sensitively.

Because my mind continues, pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood aren’t just about cute baby clothes and picture books. It’s also about blood and stages of recovery. The sweet stuff is more fun to talk about, but if I can get a discount on the damn Depends, I’ll deal with the twinge of embarrassment from having them on my registry. The Amazon Baby Registry discount matrix is a worthy opponent, and I won’t let my pride in the way. I’ve also added non-birth-related olive oil and dish soap to the registry all in a bid to game the system.

I did second guess myself when I came back to the registry and BAM — the Depends are the very first item (listed under “Apparel,” lol.) Who wants to shine a beacon of light on that? Not me. But then I shine it anyway because hiding the less pleasant things away in secret shopping carts leads to trouble.

Everything has a dark side. In pregnancy and birth, the dark side is bloody. In freelance/remote work, the dark side is isolation. In journalism, the dark side is warring loyalties. Without the darkness, though, the light — the reasons you give birth, work remotely, or pursue journalism — would be nothingness.

Hiding the unpleasantries leads to trouble because it puts up barriers and leads to that awful feeling of “I need to keep looking ‘perfect.’” I’m not a “spill your guts right away” type of person. I don’t go looking for opportunities to divulge secrets or shock people. TMI is a very real thing. But, when I’m making a baby registry that only people who love me will see, and there are incentives to buy a bunch of stuff off the registry (damn you, Bezos) I should and do feel comfortable putting nitty-gritty birth/postpartum essentials on the list.

Consider this a small, genuinely meant permission slip to relax your hold on those things that embarrass or discomfort you. Maybe it’s letting the world know about postpartum depression issues. Maybe it’s not hiding your opinion on fill-in-the-blank around certain family members. Maybe it’s not forcing out another, “Everything’s great!” when everything isn’t great. The exact wording all depends on you.

P.S. Forgive me the bad pun. <3

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